June 18, 2018 Father's Day Note

Dad: I'm planning to write you all a big, handwritten family letter this week because the computer time is tragically short. I have so much to say and so little time. I'm out of time right now technically, but I just couldn't leave without writing you a tiny message to let you know HAPPY FATHERS' DAY and that you were on my mind yesterday. I'm so grateful to have you as my dad, more and more as I get older and learn even more your strengths. Being on my own has taught me a lot about you and Mom, and I'm grateful for you both each and every day. 

Ever since I read "To Kill a Mockingbird" for the first time I've thought of you as my "Atticus Finch." Cheesy, but there you have it. The same man everywhere he goes, with a deep sense of integrity. A man who stands by what he believes in whether it costs him friends, reputation, or anything else. Someone I constantly turn to with my troubles, with full confidence I'll leave feeling more ready to meet them. 

You've taught me to see beauty in tiny things, and I need that here. Fontana is a little rough around the edges, but if you zoom in closer you can find the flecks of gold. You embrace each experience as an adventure, not excluding the bumps in the road or muddy hikes. I've needed that too. Through the lens you've helped me build, I'm focusing on the adventure! 

I love you so much. I'm so grateful that out of all the things you could have been (and I think you could have been President), you chose to be a Dad. Fontana is already teaching me there's a shortage of those. Love you so much, and Happy Father's Day. 

Fontana is a little rough around the edges. My trainor isn't very warm, but she's a good person and I'm learning a lot from her (I'm gradually getting her to speak more Spanish with me too...we speak 90% English, even with some investigators, which is discouraging.) I feel like I've been called to serve Spanish, but I don't quite know how to pick it up in such an English-saturated environment. Some lessons, I can't even communicate. This is the biggest adventure of my life even so. With each new investigator I meet, I instantly feel this overwhelming love for.Onharing the gospel is the most exciting thing too. Elsie said we "blew her mind" when we told her the Godhead is 3 separate beings. What an experience! When we're with investigators, I can't tell you how much I love this, how much I love them! So many miracles already. 

Love you so much, 

Sarah 

P.S...you have NO IDEA how fast I had to type this...we have only an hour and a half for total computer time and I did not manage it well. Please turn off your English brain just so you can wallow through it.

 want so much to be more than I am. More charitable, more patient. God started me on this journey with so much trust....a difficult, sweet, but needy companion....i dont know if I'm justifying his trust. My patience is in frustratingly short, even as my heart constantly whispers, "Sarah, above all this girl should inspire your mercy." She deals with so many of the same weaknesses I do, and has taught me so much about the love and patience you and Mom had for me. Grateful for you guys. 

love, love, love your letters each week Dad! love your idea of grace. the more I recognize grace in my life, the more infinite the Atonement becomes. I suppose something can become more infinite? haha. Have you heard the talk, "His grace is sufficient" by Brad Wilcox? absolutely changed my whole idea of grace, and really my idea of what I'm "working towards" here on earth. "learning rather than earning" heaven. 

keep praying for elsie. we struggle to keep her fire going. she has so much faith, but doesn't have that desire to press forward with any kind of speed! 

A mission is really opening up my eyes to who I am, who I want to be. I adore Hna Stanfield, and the permission she has given me to be myself. I've spent so long fighting the person that I am because I was scared, but that makes NO SENSE. i never want to make another decision based on a fear. Where there is faith, there can be no fear :) 

so grateful for you and Mom, and all your counsel each week. Miss you both, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. i can't even imagine...I'd still be sitting on my bum (excuse the language) moping about myself. I'd much rather be here making peanut butter sandwiches for Jesse on Sundays. 

love you!