July 16, 2018 The Week the World Fell Apart . . . Almost

Hi all! 

This is going to be a short one, for no other reason than our local library closed temporarily...which means I'm typing this as fast as I can on a phone with no autocorrect. Bear with me! I won't be able to get to many individual emails this week so know I received, loved, and read 'em and you'll hear from me in a bit! 

It's easy in missionary emails to make everything sound like peaches and cream without meaning to. I need to say right here and now it isn't always! There are weeks where this is hard, and this was one of those. We spend a lot of our time getting sunburnt waiting for people to answer...people who often don't. Some days the dogs bark and the bees sting (or the ants...I stepped on an anthill this week, and danced halfway down the street before Hna Stanfield knew what happened ) and we feel just plain sad. Tuesday night we went to bed not knowing if any of the people we are teaching would have another appointment with us. 

We managed to offend poor Jesse (who I think of as "Old Faithful") by being too formal--he just wants to be buddies, so some of our rules about texting and first names are endlessly confusing to him. Angel was away at his Mom's this week, and video lessons with an 11 year old are difficult to say the least. Jesus bailed on church after 2 amazing lessons, and then didn't respond to our messages for days. We had appointment after appointment fall through, and several people who seemed to be avoiding us. It was hard! To top it off, we got a late night text from Elsie, canceling our lesson and saying things were not good and she "wanted to be left alone." We were absolutely crushed. We expressed love and concern, but she said nothing. 

What got me through with hope was a messagr from my brother Christian that came at just the right time. CJ knows me well, and had sent me a picture of the UP house (my favorite PIXAR movie). In bold letters he labled it, "UP," and that's exactly what we did. We didn't know what to do about all these dissapointments and struggling people, so we looked up! We did the only thing we could think to do, which was pray. We prayed harder than we ever have, and we looked upwards to the only person who has all the answers. 

Things didn't come around immediately, but they started to. We kept praying and following little promptings in faith, One of which was to reach out to Elsie again. It was scary, the situation was fragile, but we trusted we'd be guided in what to say. We focused on our love for her and wanting to support her, and gradually shw opened up again. Turns out some serious problems with family had come up, and Elsie felt tremendous weight with no one to turn to. We were able to have a lesson with her, and the whole thing was a miracle. At first, we were scared. What could we, two 19yolds, do to fix something so difficult as Elsie's problem? How could WE possibly help? We did thw only thing we could do, which was teach. I learned, however, just how powerful that truly is. 

We couldn't fix Elsie's trial, or understand exactly what she is experiencing, but the lesson helped her draw nearer to someone who understands perfectly her pain. We had prayed harder for the spirit than we ever had before hand, and I learned all over again that we arent really the teachers at all. We shared with Elsie that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is for more than mistakes, but for every pain or sadness; because Christ was willing to walk entirely alone, no one else ever needs to. We couldn't offer Elsie the understanding she needed, but the Savior could. Elsie, who has trouble recognizing whether she is feeling the Spirit, really understood it for the first time. I was so grateful just to be there. We all three cried a little! 

Hna Stanfield and I had the special experience of offering Elsie a priesthood blessing. Explaining what that was was sure special. It took probably ten calls to coordinate with someone, everyone was busy. On the ninth call, the brother said at the very end, "try President Lucas!" We barely knew him, but we tried anyway. With only a 30 min warning, he was there with another brother, both in white shirts and ties. I swear they were Captain Moroni equivalents in our eyes! Niether knew anything about Elsie, but the blessing was exactly what she needed. Afterwards, all she could say was, "a weight has been lifted." We couldn't fix what was going on all around Elsie, but we helped her to "look up!" Christ, and the message of his Atonement, turned chaos to peace and tempest to calm. 

Sometimes we have to jump onto the battleground and really fight for/alongside our people. The week started a bit rough, but ended up with six people in sacrament meeting. Gosh I sure love them all! All in all, this is still the best job. 

Love you all, and remember to "Look Up!" 

---Hermana Hawkes 

Great Quotes: 

"I like the story of Jesus in the temple; he's all throwing down and taking names! I'm always like, GOOO JESUS!" --Jesse 

"No, I'm not Mormon, silly, he died  forever ago!" --Hank Smith 

"Go away." --Grumpy Man (seeing as he was hammering a sofa in the front yard we had thought, "hey what are you doing?" Was a valid enough question) 

"Hermana Hawkes, you keep using 'Holland' as a verb." --Hna Stanfield

"I don't think fruit is very flirty..." --Hna Stanfield (we had a miscommunication here) 

"The other apostles didn't walk on water because they never stepped out of the boat." --Pres. Dixon