August 27, 2018 Gratitude and Tribal Drums

Hi all! 

I learned a big lesson this week, and that is that gratitude cures all. I never thought of negativity as directly related to ingratitude, but it really is. When I start to get discouraged about the language, I've been stopping myself in my tracks. I am so grateful to be learning this language! When we have to stop teaching someone we're meeting with, we've started saying, that we're grateful that now we can spend that time finding someone who is more ready for the gospel right now. Just a little thought, but wanted to share. The days I remember to be grateful are the happiest days of my mission! 

Three terrifying things you can find in Fontana: low riding trucks (they are just everywhere), R.O.U.S's (I saw a possum the other day and hope never to do so again), and very angry chihuahuas. That said, we also have palm trees on every corner, great sunsets, and little fruit stands. It all balances out! 

This week we've been feeling extra blessed because we have two baptisms this weekend! Jesse will be getting baptised Friday, and Ella on Saturday. Ella is the sweetest nine year old from a member family in our ward. She goes to church every week, but since she turned nine she needed to receive some of the missionary lessons and be baptized as a convert. She went from being so-so about her baptism to being very excited as her understanding of baptism grew! We are so excited for them both!! 

 We went to one of Jesse's Primary dance practices and it was the coolest thing. His son Leo played the drum, and man! It was like thunder and you could physically feel it vibrating through you. It was so loud that people from other wards popped their heads in, and then sat there and watch Jesse demo for all the kids. He's really good! Lots of fancy footwork, and it's cool that Leo and Jesse do it together. Ethan even had his own tiny drum, although he preferred to steal basketballs from the deacons and jump off the primary chairs. 

A sweet moment was stopping by Elsie's late one night (she lives right by us)and having her finally open up about why she's been so flaky about everything.  She has felt supremely discouraged ever since she found out she couldn't get baptized right now. We were able to express our love for her, and the love of our Heavenly Father, who knows the desires of her heart. We were able to finally really talk, and laugh, with Joanna (who is just a little younger than Mary) and she said she wants to be there next time we come. Little Bella was bouncing around in her undies, as usual, and wanted to tell us all about how she "did her own hair" (you could tell too). All there of them walked us to our car. "I missed you," piped up Bella. "Don't leave me again!" My heart almost burst. We love them all so much!!

I was pretty "waffly" about a mission for a long time. To all my fellow waffles, to all those who are deciding about a mission, or are waiting for some sign to head out, go in faith. Faith and fear are opposites, so never make a decision based on fear. If you go and leave everything behind you, and decide to love it (because it will be your decision each day) you will never regret it. I can't imagine I ever debated. It's not glamourous, it gets pretty monotonous sometimes, but all in all it is the greatest adventure. I love these people so much I could pop, and I'm so grateful God allowed me to be a small part of their lives. This really is the best job ever. 

Hope you all have the best week ever! 

Love, 

Hna Hawkes

Note to mom and dad:
We had a rather weird pday so we ended up with 20 extra minutes to write tonight. I have had a terrible cold so have been cracking Batman jokes all day. Jesse thinks it's hilarious and keeps telling me herbal tea remedies, and Hna Stanfield has been a little mom, so hopefully my voice comes back. I was so grateful for both your letters, find myself laughing and crying through them each week, often they answer prayers and are a sweet little moment of feeling close to ypu both. Btw Mom, if you could start sending letters in an email, they are easier to rwad and keep track of that way. I am SO grateful to be here. Grateful to be learning this language (although I think it's like when I first learned to read, it mah take longer to click) and gosh the stories here...unbelievable. More on that next week. Ask me about Pepe and Olga. They make me laugh so so hard. 

I had my 2nd interview with President Dixon, and it was an answer to my prayers. He told me that I have real charity for my people here, which meant so much. He then told me that he knows Heavenly Father is proud of me, and that my weaknesses are a blessing because they help me to rely on the Lord. I hadn't told him anything about that, and he went on to say something I know was true revelation. He told me "Don't be upset the language is taking some time. If you got it too fast, you'd start relying on yourself." I'm really grateful for Pres Dixon, and it brought me back into perspective. God has really humbled me, and is asking me to really stretch my faith. I'm a pretty determined person, and I've never struggled to "do my best" before...but with Spanish I need God's grace to even give it my all. I went from expecting to come home with flawless Spanish to praying to just be able to understand THIS person in THIS moment so I can share what they specifically need in whatever simple way I can, and that in of itself is a blessing. God wants me to love this work in and of itself, with no fluff. That might mean less spanish and no travelouge, but I'm grateful. Have to go, but love you guys