August 5, 2019 Staying in Thermal

Good news! I will be staying in Thermal for another 6 weeks, and likely another transfer after that. I am thrilled! It's funny, I had myself so convinced I was headed out, but I'm so glad to continue working with these people I love a whole lot. 

You can tell time from the date fields out here. The date boughs get heavy and start to droop, and the dates go from green to deep gold. Hermano Esteves says when they are brown, it will be fall. 

Where do I start? This week we had a huge miracle with Jose. I'll try to be careful about what I share, because it's pretty special, but Jose received very strong, clear confirmation that our message is true, that we have a living prophet, and that we need to prepare for the second coming of the Savior. The most special moment was when Jose said to us, "Christ is the center of everything, and He's coming. We have to be ready." We asked him if he felt God wanted him to be baptized (something he has been praying about), and he said yes. He believes in the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, and that he "of course" wants to be part of the restored church. "Hermano," I asked him, "what are you waiting for?" He couldn't give me a clear answer. Please pray for him! He's right on the brink! 

We also had a first lesson with Will, and I loved it. We taught a 5 minute version of the Restoration, and the spirit was so strong. Afterwards though, he lit into me! He wanted to know why on earth we needed another Bible, why Joseph Smith was so important if we already have Christ, and whether we worship the saints. Hermana Lopez started telling him off for being being stubborn, but I absolutely loved it! Good questions, honest questions, means that someone cares about the message. It feels so good to tell someone, "You know what, don't take our word for it, you should ask God about that one!" 

This week, in a combined lesson with the sisters and Shon, he asked this question, "Why, if God loves us, would he put just a hint of himself out there? Why doesn't he just show himself to us? Why make it so incredibly hard to know if he's even there?" Good question, and something I've thought about a lot. I know why God doesn't just manifest himself to us, that would require no faith and allow for no real agency, but the other part is trickier. Why is it so hard to feel God sometimes? Why do so many get lost looking for Him in the wrong places? How on earth can we help so many struggling people find, accept, and live the restored gospel? 

I've been thinking and praying about this a whole lot, and the answers have come really slowly, and really often through other people. One came through brother and another from a speech called, "We aren't God's only people." Jordan, who served in Asia, was constantly meeting good, honest people who didn't recognize a need for his message because they were already believers in another faith. I run into the same thing constantly too. I just don't believe it's so simply as "we're right," and "you're wrong." I've met so many people who, although they aren't members of our church, are sincere followers of Jesus Christ who feel his spirit and follow it. 

That said, I know the church is true and restored. I know that everyone needs the truths we share, and I've watched lives change as people accept them. Sometimes it's easy to get overwhelmed just thinking about how many people still need to hear them, how many people won't have that chance in this life, and how many people are struggling to keep the faith once they find it. I could just cry every time someone tells us they aren't ready yet. I'm learning though, more and more every day, that the purpose of this life is truly just following whatever portion of light we are given, and being true to that. Those who have followed the light and goodness inside themselves (who have recognized the influence of God) will recognize the gospel message when they hear it, be that sooner or later. 

We aren't the only ones engaged in this work either. All good things, that pull us towards God and each other, come from him. We're united together, with other believers and other faiths, all working to become better, truer, and grow closer to Heavenly Father (whether that's what we call Him or not). 

I'm rambling at this point, but I just knelt down this week kind of hurting. "Heavenly Father," I asked, "I know this is your work, but how on earth are we going to get to everybody? There's too many people. I can't even keep track of the few people I'm teaching. Someone always gets lost. How can we take care of everyone?" I got a quick correction. "These are my children. They are in my hands. I know exactly where each of them is, and I am reaching out to each one of them in every moment. They are not lost to me." 

I know He is there. I know that although I may just be a tiny piece in the puzzle, God is in charge. This is His battle, and He will win. I'm grateful to know that! 

Love, 

Hermana Hawkes 

Great quotes: 

"Hay mucho BULLY hermanas. Mucho bully." --Hna Granados. 

"Gluttony likes company." --Me

"No one gets offended if you share hot chocolate and fresh bread. That's what the gospel is! Hot chocolate and fresh bread! I'm selfish if I don't share!" --Hno Esteves