October 22, 2018 I guess I'm a Dart?

Hi all! 

It was a bit of a whirlwind week; today has been the first chance I've had to even just sit for a moment and soak it all in. The beginning of the week was a lot of hurried packing, and by Wednesday I found myself in the middle of the California Desert in a trio! I am currently serving in Desert Hot Springs, which everyone shortens to DHS. That means I'm one of the three "DHS Hermanas" which just so happens to be the initials of my rival highschool. Not a fan. 

Desert Hot Springs in and of itself is amazing. The Mountains are huge and breathtaking, and are a different shade of blue depending on the time of day. The town itself is pretty small, but it neighbors the wealthier tourist area of Palm Springs which has lots of Golf Courses and country clubs. I have seen not one but TWO roadrunners, a chipmunk, and several lizards, so can't complain on the wildlife. No coyotes yet. 

The day after I arrived I picked up and headed out to 29 Palms on exchanges with the dynamo Sister Jones, who heads home in a month. Our area covers a huge piece of Yucca Valley, including 29 Palms. The branch, Agua Caliente ("Hot Water, for "hot springs"), is amazing. It's made up of mostly younger women with families, who are tight-knit and devoted to one another. Most of their husbands either don't attend or aren't members, so there isn't enough Priesthood to create a ward, but we are working on it! 

Being in a trio is strange, but I think I'll really like it. It means a lot of sitting in the backseat, and since I don't really know anyone yet it really feels like being a new missionary again. Hna Cirlante and Hna Jensen are warm and welcoming, and never stop laughing. Hna Cirlante has a love for cooking breakfast food, a huge love for the people, and is not friends with the Tiwi (she swerves for chipmunks). Hna Jensen has a big laugh and finds the fun in every situation, and loves to knock doors (first missionary I've met!). They are best friends, but have worked so hard to make sure I don't feel like I'm crashing anyone's party. I already really love them both! 

It's hard not to miss Fontana, where I knew the people and felt useful in the work, but I'm grateful for the opportunity to step outside what I'm comfortable with and start fresh. I reread Elder Uchtdorf's talk "Believe, Love, Do," and it was exactly what I needed this week. Something about the way he speaks always strikes a chord with me. My message going into this new experience is clear, "Worry less, focus on having faith in the Savior and acting out of love. Remember that this is an adventure and stop and enjoy it already! Be humble, love a lot." 

There are many missionaries in our mission right now waiting for visas to Ecuador, and one is being trained right in our branch. He seems so antsy to get going, and I can't blame him, ( from everything I've heard Ecuador is wonderful) but I couldn't help sharing with him something I learn every more everyday. We can't waste all our todays waiting for tomorrows; we're hear right now in this moment for a reason. I love a quote that reads, "Stop waiting for sunshine and enjoy more fully the rain." I can wait to love my mission until I have really good Spanish, or find one more person to teach, or until I know an area like the back of my hand, or I can just love it today. I'm so blessed to be here. So blessed. 

Love you all, and hope you've had an amazing week. Enjoy all those beautiful Utah leaves for me! 

Love, 

Hna Hawkes 

"I mean, Canada doesn't even border the U.S.. Or is that Alaska?" --Hna Jensen 

"If we remember how few of us there really are, and what is is we're called to do...something no one else can--there's no room for fear! That's when we become bold missionaries." --Sister Jones 

Note to Mom and Dad:

Transfers were so hard, and it's not perfect, but it was definitely time to head out. Hna Watkins loosened up for the final few days and was incredibly sweet about everything. Turns out her fixation with rules was not just my problem, Hna Jensen is her trainee and it sounds like she's sort of just like that.

Hna Jensen and Hna Cirlante are warm, friendly, and so genuine. They compile all their mission card money, so we all share food and they cook together. It's like a little family (although I've struggled a little with the philsbury biscuits and gravy. Not about to tell them that!). Thank you for the recipies, they both love to cook and so I'm excited to contribute a little. 

Dad: loved the article on Wabi-Sabi. We talked about it in my pottery class a lot and I thought it was a lovely idea. Most of the kids just took it as an excuse to make poor pottery but it's really an acception of the imperfect. 

Hna Jensen looks like Sandra Bullock and reminds me of Jen and Megan Carr (she goes to Snow, they would be best friends) and Hna Cirlante loves Musical Theatre and Studio Ghibli. They are so, so cute, and absolutely best friends. It has been a bit hard because they were both already in the area and already have a way of doing everything, and I'm scared to impose any ideas because I don't want to be anything like the way Hna Watkins was. With some things, though, I'm a tiny bit worried; we don't ever have much language study time, we tease Elders mercilessly (in my last area it was all very VERYprofessional with Elders), and lessons are a bit loosely planned. They are hilarious and constantly laughing. I'm not sure how much to suggest and how much to just go with the flow? So far my approach has been go with the flow, and only worry about things that are important for the work or for the companionship. I don't want to nit-pick anything, and they are both amazing, big-hearted missionaries. 

I've always struggled with groups, and apparently even 3 is a group to me. I don't know what happens, but it's like I lose my personality...I can't think of anything to say so I just sit there quietly. They both still think I'm shy, but I think that will go away with time. For now I'm just being patient with myself. I already love them both dearly. 

Mom, never apologize for "rambling" emails. Your email today was beautiful and just exactly what I needed. I'm going to go listen to the talk right now. 

About Chris: I've just been waiting to hear he was engaged so it's nice to finally know honestly. Hna Stanfield told me something that changed my perspective on things, she told me, "if he was really as nice as you make him out to be, he propably would have at least responded." I've known for a long time that it just wasn't meant to be. He is a super nice guy, but I learned from Cole that I sometimes think cute guys are nicer than they maybe are. I wish I knew what to do with the ring? I wish it wasn't a ring so I could still wear it it's so cute, but I think I had better not! I hope they will be really happy. I'm honestly just grateful we didn't get any closer, my mission is worth more to me than ANY guy. I couldn't have missed this. I think I'm going to do what Hna Jensen's sister did and find a nice Peruvian carpenter who can carve me an engagement ring out of the pit of my favorite fruit (True story). 

Jesse was pretty sad when I headed out, the guy gave me two giant canvases and tubes of oil paint I had to lug out to the desert with me but it made me laugh. He also gave me a lot of ceremonial charcoal and feathers that I'm not sure what to do with. He also did the coolest spirit animal analysis and apparently I'm a "hummingbird" which happens to be my favorite bird; "You have a great big heart Hna Hawkes!" I'm sure going to miss that guy. He knows to rely on the Lord though, and Hna Watkins is under oath to send him lots of emogis in all her texts to him (he loves emogis). 

BTW, Kimble is still writing me which I'm not sure whether that's good or bad. He's such a good friend, but he waited for another sister missionary and it didn't work out. I don't think there's any expectations, but we write pretty regularly? Also, a guy from highschool has been writing too, which surprised me. He was a year older and popular; I always thought it was strange how friendly he was to me. I nearly asked him to a dance and chickened out! So funny. 

I have to run, but I love you all so dearly. This is hard, but so good. So, so good.

Love, 

Sarah