February 11, 2019 The American Dream

Hello all--

We like to go hiking for exercise some mornings, but we've decided to rethink it. Just the other day we had started up into the hills when a pack of coyotes set off howling! You should have seen us speed walk back to the car! Gave me shivers, but happy ones. I've always wanted to hear a coyote. 

We've started what I have decided to call the "Johnny Lingo approach" with the branch. There is a whole lot of gossip amongst many in the branch, so it's a tough atmosphere to introduce new, nervous people into! My thinking is, if we treat members like they are a "ten cow wife," they will "become a ten cow wife." We've started texting people the morning before we bring someone new to church, telling them that we specifically thought of them as a great member-missionary and someone who could help the person we are teaching feel at home. No massive change (haha yet!), but people definitely rise to meet your expectations for them. We have such wonderful people down here in Agua. One thing I have definitely learned on my mission is that full-time missionaries can do NOTHING without members. New people need you more than they need anything! Their journey is way too overwhelming without lots of love and support. 

No crazy changes in the work, just putting our shoulder to the wheel and really pushing with our people. The gospel's not ever really easy, and it's never convenient, but I know for sure it's worth it. 

Funniest little story and an illustration of why I love Hermana Ciarlante: we volunteered to help with a bike race in Palm Springs, and they had too many volunteers. All we did was stand in front of the crosswalk, but Hna Ciarlante was determined this was not going to stop us from making the best use of our time. She started chatting away with four fourteen year old volunteer boys, and we came away an hour and a half later with their life stories and all their numbers so we could invite them to church! Definitely did not think a mission would involve asking 14 year olds for their numbers!! 

We tried to make "arroz con leche" or "rice with milk" for a Zone activity, and definitely learned that reading labels is important. Condensed milk and sweetened condensed milk are different! 

I love history, and I've specifically always loved learning about the age of immigration, the big move west, and the "American Dream." I've heard a lot of people say that the "American Dream is dead," but something I'm definitely finding out here is that it is alive and well and thriving in the hearts of the people we are teaching. I questioned for a long time why so many of them immigrated here. In their home countries, many of them were experts, doctors, even celebrities. I've found that Nephi's story strikes a chord with nearly all of them, because they too picked up and left everything they had ever known to head to a "land of promise." They have amazing, amazing faith. The going gets rough, and they quickly learn that it's not all peaches and cream over here, but they work so hard and press forward despite everything. I've got so much to learn from them. 

I'm so grateful for all of you, and hope you have the best week ever. 

Love, 

Hermana Hawkes 

"They just aren't quite fully fulfilling their potential as a child of God." (we were trying to be as passive aggressive as possible) 

"Who do you think I am, Michael Phelps?" --Me. I definitely have short arms. 

"There goes a convertible!" (may or may not have been talking about cars)


he work is really hard right now, but I still love it. The hardest part is NOT what you'd expect, but just getting people to pray. Honestly. They just don't pray about what we teach, and I feel like it's all we ever focus on. 

Enrique is doing well, he'll still on date, but he really worries me lately. We need council. He's gone from saying things like, "I want to be baptized because I want to follow God" to "I will be baptized because I'm a man of my word." We have gone over with him about a million times that this isn't our baptism, it's his, and that it is entirely between him and God whether he will be baptized on the 23rd. He has prayed, and said he felt peace, but still it's unsettling. Mostly he's just upset he can't drink coffee I think! On another note, he's been telling Hna Ciarlante that he needs to confess something to her, which makes us both really nervous. We've told him if he needs to confess it will be between him and God, or him and President Dixon, and he seems to get it. We know he's keeping the law of chastity and hasn't committed any crimes, so we aren't sure what to do. He thinks we're both the greatest thing since sliced bread...almost too much. I'm so worried about him getting baptized if he's not ready, but if he's set then I don't think it's my decision at all. 

Everyone is just really battling right now. I don't know what we can even do for Juana right now. She just will not come to church, and has missed 3 baptismal dates. She's heard a lot of "chisme" about the branch and it turned her off. She's not reading, and I don't think she's even ever prayed about Joseph Smith. She loves us, she loves our message, she wants to change her life...but something is missing. I don't know what else we can even do for her if she won't do any of the things that will help. Pray for her! 

Love you both so much! Praying for you!!

Hi Dad! I adored your thought this morning. I really needed it. Satan is always picking at me a little about my mission, "why'd you wait so long? Why were you so flakey? You're in this mission because you said you had anxiety on your papers!" But really, it was what you said. God waited just long enough for me to decide to go entirely and utterly on my own, and for no other motivation than because I loved Him and I trusted Him. I've never been so, so grateful. 

I'm praying really hard for you in the session. I know you're doing amazing things. If you're too tired for your typical long and beautiful letters you can just send a few lines. I'm just grateful to hear from you. Sometimes I think of little lines for the children's books we are going to write when I get back just for fun! 

I wanted to share something kind of quirky with you, but it taught me about being grateful for weakness and imperfection. It's embarrassing, but I knew you'd get it. I have been really battling with my bad habits on my mission, little things like picking my nails, etc, but I've wanted to conquer them for all the people I'm teaching who have addictions. I haven't made any major headway, but the other day I received a really strong impression that the Lord specifically gave me this weakness, unglamorous and tacky as it is, to help me have empathy for them. In that sense, it's a gift, because if I can beat it will allow me to have strength and integrity as I ask people like Manuel and Jose to conquer their addictions. Just a thought, but I thought it might help you too. Love you buckets.