March 18, 2019 The 3rd Watch
Hey all!
Just wanted to send a quick thank you for your sweet emails each week, especially during the session. The clouds and flowers and crazy weather down here always make me think of you.
Because of all the rain we've gotten, the empty, dusty fields are suddenly green and full of tiny yellow flowers. In the grooves of the hills where all the water runs there's a dusting of more, with purple mixed in. "See?" I tell all the other missionaries, "our area isn't ugly!"
Something I like a little less is the monarch butterfly migration. For weeks now, there are just clouds of monarchs on their way down to Mexico. It's beautiful, but for anyone who knows how much I like to drive I can honestly say I like it a lot less when you have to drive through giant clouds of the cutest butterflies. Sometimes I just lie there at night thinking about how many I've probably sent to butterfly heaven if there is one.
Hermana Ballard learned this week not to put the kernels in the pot before finding the right size lid. I was trying to call people, and she was jumping all over the kitchen, hot steam and kernels flying around. I don't think I'm training her much, but she's definitely learning valuable lessons all on her own.
You know the story where the apostles are out on the sea of Galilee in a storm? They fight all night, and still nothing. No sign of it stopping? That has been us, in all honesty, for the last few weeks. By Hna Ballard's calculations though, this week is the fourth watch!! Cross your fingers! This week we find the family of nine of the man who has read the Book of Mormon 4 times already. Door after door, call after call, appointment after appointment. Hermana Ballard has been a trooper, but I've never seen anything like it. It's statistically impossible that every single one of these people forgets about the lesson. Really the excuses always boil down to two things; I'm too busy, or I'm good enough with the light I already have. I don't understand why so many people don't want MORE! You can't have too much light, goodness, and peace in your life right?
The Lord has been sending us all kinds of little tender mercies throughout, though. It's when people are the most impatient with us that I remember how patient the Savior is with me. The best missionary ever was also the most turned away. Missionaries so often get this complex, and probably most of us in general, that if the going gets rough we must be doing something wrong...but I think sometimes that's just the journey.
We were sent the information of a woman named Maribell right at the end of the week. We showed up at her house, which was almost governed by a garden of cactus and other desert plants. She's a gardener, and sells all her plants, and I don't even know how long we spent in her yard, hearing about the blooms on this cactus or that cactus. Missionaries have been stopping by for years, an English Book of Mormon just gathering dust in the corner, but she's never had a lesson. All because she didn't know any of it was in Spanish. We felt so blessed to meet her! "I'll listen to anyone about God," she said sincerely. "I'm just looking for what he wants me to do."
After he missed a lesson and we missed him at home about three times, we finally ran into Rudy again. I love that man. He immediately started off on a story about a neighbor's dog running loose in his house and it was probably ten minutes before we could chip in. One of the best moments of my week, probably my mission, was hearing three little words, "Yes, I read." Not much, not for very long, but he read! Miracles are real! Hermana Ballard asked if we could pray with him before we headed out, there on his doorstep, and his eyes about bugged out. "I don't know Sisters...my neighbors are crazy, pull each other's hair..." Excuses, excuses. We'll have to explain we don't have to kneel for every prayer!
I love Hermana Ballard more every single day. We bought half-off frost-bitten Talenti and we eat it while we watch the District each night. She happens to be just as addicted to home-made popcorn as I am, so we get along. I'm really blessed! We also set off the fire-alarm a whole lot.
I love you all so much, have the best week!
Love,
Hermana Hawkes
Great Quotes:
"The dog, I kid you not, ran over my head! I didn't know what to do! I hate dogs!"--Rudy
"My doctor says not to eat sweets, but Hermana Pinela says to eat LOTS of sweets. She says it makes me a better 'sweetheart.' Isn't that right Hermana Pinela?" --Hermano Pinela (He was really, really proud of himself for knowing that word. Hermana Pinela was less proud.)
"His dad is Japanese, and his dad is...a Russian!" --Hermano Pinela about his sons. I'm never 100% sure what he's talking about but it makes me laugh.
"If I'm going to dance through life, it had better be a real dance and not a 'deacon-shuffle!'" --Sister Paulin
"If there are stars out, I suppose I had better be philosophical"--Sister Paulin
"A rose, by another name, is still a rose, even if it is only a partially budded rose. We still have to call it a rose. I think that relates to children of God." --Sister Paulin being philosophical
I love the idea of yoked with Christ. Especially lately, when I feel that I can't even do my best, I've needed that idea that someone so powerful, so infinite, is pulling with me. I know that it's only when I'm relying on him that the miracles occur.
I've struggled so much lately with comparison, do you have any tips? I'm trying to look up, but I find some weeks are harder than others. Some weeks it's hard to get emails from Ecuador about how 15 people were at church. It's hard to feel, lately, like I've ever been a part of much of anyone's progression. I've been out nearly a year, and my Spanish is still pretty rudimentary, and everyone I've taught during my 6 months here has stopped having lessons with us. Every single one. It's hard, but I promise I'm still praying and working hard, and loving Hermana Ballard and the people the Lord is sending slowly but surely with my whole heart. This isn't about me, and i know that, it's just that I'd love to feel assured that I am an instrument in the Lord's hands, and that I have someone helped to further his work.
I don't want to be a debby downer! I sure love this, and I sure love you, and I'm grateful ever day just to be here. I know we can't always see the good we do. I'm praying for you, and hope you get a little break from session craziness. This got long fast!
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