September 17, 2018 Little Miracles

Hi all! 

So many little miracles this week. One of the highlights of Preparation Day is always writing, because I get to look back and realize all the little moments where the Lord's hand was guiding us. If missionary work has taught me anything, it's how conscious the Savior is of every one of his sheep, and that includes us missionaries. 

This week we met with Meylin ("May-lean." I struggled a bit too I think I kept calling her Marleen). Her esposo, Maricio, had been taught extensively by elders previously, but was referred over to us because of the distance on bike. We expected to meet with Maricio, but on our very first visit, before we could say much of anything, he told us he wanted us to teach Meylin. As soon as we started talking with her, we knew she was someone very prepared for the gospel. In her words, "I've always prayed, but God was more someone I turned to when I needed something. He was the emergency solution. I want to change that." Meylin recently had four extensive surgeries, and she's not through the woods yet. As a result, it has been difficult to set return appointments because she's often in so much pain. As Meylin puts it, however, the surgeries are what turned her to Heavenly Father. Miracles come in all shapes and sizes don't they? 

Another miracle this week was being told by Lily (Remember Lily? Sassy-as-I'll-get-out and dislikes it when we try to help her clean her yard?) that after years of meeting with missionaries, she's finally ready to throw away the cigarettes. Lily is almost through the Book of Mormon for her 2nd time in a matter of months, and has as deep a testimony of the Savior as anyone I've ever met. The only thing holding her back was her difficulty giving up smoking, and she admitted to us that part of the reason was also a fear of coming to church. We're hoping to help Lily learn to replace the fear and move forward with faith. Keep Lily in your prayers! 

I'd be neglectful not to mention Jesse too, who led a batch of Primary kids in one of his dances at a Stake Multi-cultural Celebration on Saturday. I think it may have been my favorite thing I've ever seen; Chieftain Jesse out front with a massive, vibrant headdress followed by a trail of tiny natives waving feathers and trying with headgear that kept slipping down over their eyes. We had to spend a half hour at least sorting feathers when all was said and done; there were three varieties of yellow alone. The whole ward really went all out, they opened with "Remember Me" from Coco and brought food from at least five different country. Juniper Ward doesn't go halfway, and I love them all to bits. Even better than the cultural celebration though was watching Jesse pass the sacrament for the first time (he couldn't stop smiling) and then helping him prepare family names for the temple this week. Sometimes I can't believe this is my real job! 

I've been studying faith a lot lately, because it really is the foundation of everything else. My mission taught me pretty quickly that I've got a faith problem myself, as I think we all do in one way or the other. At mission conference (it was last week can I still talk about it?) Elder Pearson talked about how we all have "frontiers of faith," and miracles are always just beyond. It's usually right at that frontier where we decide we've gone far enough, put enough in, or given our all. In the words of Boyd K. Packer, "somewhere in your quest for spiritual knowledge there is a 'leap of faith,' as the philosopher's call it. it is that moment when you have gone to the endge of the light and stepped into the darkness to discover that the way is lighted ahead for just a footstep of two." That moment, that little step into the dark, is something we all face, for me sometimes many times in the same day! That leap is really what we're asking each person we teach to take. I'm learning quickly that if I spend time worrying about, "what lesson does this person need and how can I teach it perfectly to cater to their need," I'm wasting time. This work has very little to do with anything I can say, because I'm not the real teacher. Only when a person is willing to take a few steps into the dark, to act in faith, does anything really happen. The real question, then, is "how can we help this person to act on whatever faith they have? How can we help them turn to the source?" It makes me wonder how often I sit around, waiting to get bonked on the head with revelation, waiting to be led into the light, when really I just need to stand up and start walking in faith. 

I love you all and hope you've had the best week! 

--Hna Hawkes 

so grateful for your letters each week. I took NOTES on the ones from today, you both sent such wonderful thoughts and often I really try to implement little things you say into my week. I may be far away but I'm determined to keep learning from you guys.

Hna Watkins is annoyed by me a bit I think, which has been hard. She's amazing, really driven and dedicated and so very good at planning, but I talk an awful lot and the first week she finally asked me to stop talking so much about the people. Basically that I had been talking nonstop about people she hadn't had the chance to meet yet. I understood, but felt so badly. I think I just get too excited. We have a really, really difficult time communicating, and she is a little bit critical of me and my lack of knowledge of all the rules. At the same time, sometimes she doesn't tell me when something bothers her. That said, I know how much Fontana needs her and her planning skills, and I'm know how much I've already learned from her complete dedication to the work, to preach my gospel, and to our purpose as missionaries. I've been underusing my resources for sure! I'm learning if you're humble enough, you can get along. She really is very sweet, we're both so committed to this work, it should work! I think we just need a little more time.