November 19, 2018 Thanksgiving

Hi all! 

I have learned switching areas is kind of like what I've heard described by moms having a second baby; something like, "Oh dear, will I love the second baby as much as the first baby?" I'm here to reassure all first area missionaries not to worry. You will! Oh boy do I love Desert Hot Springs. 

Two girls the elders are teaching, Ariana and Briana, were baptized this week. When we asked them how they felt, it was, "Cold on the outside, but really warm on the inside!" 

Our little branch Thanksgiving dinner was a success. Hna Salas actually bore her testimony about how she hoped everyone would bring turkey to the event, which I think definitely helped. Laura, wife of Emmanuel who is a recent convert, told us that she would scream if she saw a single tamale (she likes to keep things traditional) and there wasn't one. I was a little bummed myself! My favorite was Hno Ramos, who kept sneakily pulling chilis out of his shirt pocket to go with his turkey and stuffing. When Hna got up to get more ham, we asked him how he and Hna had met. He casually replied that, well, she lived in a dumpster. We had a good laugh! And don't worry, they're best friends, even go grocery shopping together. It has been amazing to see Hno open up to the gospel, and slowly change little by little. He'll be getting baptised the beginning of December. 

Jose is still praying about a baptismal date as well, and hasn't felt he's received much guidance yet, so keep him in your prayers. Manuel needs prayers as well! 

One of the best moments of the week was a street contact we made while walking through a trailer park that had hardly been touched by missionaries. We heard a whole lot of mariachi, so we knew we were on the right track. We talked to a man named Antonio, who when we asked if we could come share more replied, "Porque no?" (Not what we usually hear!) We came for our appointment, only to find he lives with nine of his family members. We can't wait to go back. Until I arrived here, I really hadn't had the opportunity to teach families. We're going back tonight, so hopefully all goes well. 

Another little miracle was Sandra, a person in our records as "someone with interest" who we've stopped by about four or five times. Each time it was a different family member telling us to come back "next week." Finally, we caught Sandra. She was open and kind, and at the very end shared a very special experience. She dreamed about the end of the world, but all her family were holding lights. I was getting serious "Lehi's Dream" vibes, so hopefully we'll be able to share that with her soon. The moral of the story is, always stop by "just one more time." 

We won't be celebrating Thanksgiving traditionally, as missionaries, but I don't really mind. I've really needed to be more grateful lately, so I'm hoping this week I can celebrate a little more sincerely at least in my heart. I have so much, especially to know what I do, and what I gift I get to share it. We're all really blessed. 

Lots of love, and have a great week!

--Hna Hawkes

I learned a powerful lesson this week, and it wasn't one I wanted to include in the group email. A mission is a bit hard with all the "exact obedience," and you two know me, I tend to kind of rain fire-and-brimstone down when I don't do something quite right. The adversary knows he can twist my wanting to be very obedient pretty easily into self-condemnation, and that kills both the spirit and my happiness. Hna Watkins was so focused on rules that really I'm still trying to refocus on the purpose of the rules rather than the rules themselves! I wonder if exact obedience and perfect obedience aren't too different things. I find I can't ever be perfectly obedient, but my heart is always in the right place on obedience, which I think counts more. 

I've been really self-centered, though. I've talked with my new companions a lot about my worries with "this rule we're struggling with," or "this thing we need to improve on," and while I knew I was being probably a little grating, I had no idea but they both admitted it really made them both feel like poor missionaries. I can't even tell you, I've felt just sick about it, but I have repented in any way I know how. I would just get so stressed out when we didn't keep an important rule, or one that i perceived as important, but because it didn't seem to stress them out, I didn't consider enough how much i was stressing out our whole companionship! I stressed Hna Jensen out so much she said she was almost in a state of panic. Gosh, the minute I get focused on myself, I miss the whole boat. I'm not the only one who struggles with stress, or with anxiety, or with perfectionism, and I absolutely need to think about how those things effect others. I'm really grateful they finally told me. The last think I think I'd ever want in this whole world is to make either of these amazing, sweet, genuine sisters feel is inadequacy. Anyhow, I think I need tips on the whole mission obedience thing, there's a happy medium somewhere. 

I bought a keyboard so I can still talk too much in letter form! You all bear with me like champions! 

This week, I'm sure grateful for my family. Counting down the days until we can all talk on the phone!